Rickety Falls
by Malifacter0605-XxKINDSOULSxX
Summary: It's a fanfiction brohs! We got Rick and Morty and Gravity Falls all in ooooone! Bad news, brohs. Bill's back, and he's trying to get his hands on Rick's portal gun, brohs! Dudes! Rick and Ford and Morty and Dipper and Summer and Mabel and even more of your favorite cartoon peeps gotta team up to beat the ultimate evil, brohs! It's gonna get schwifty! Like, fast, brohs.
1. Pilot

**"HEYA KID!" An unfamiliar voice echoed through Morty's room. He looked around for its source, and saw no one.**

 **"H-Hello?" The boy said. "This better not be some dumb prank, Rick."**

 **"OH BOY! THAT'S A NAME I HAVEN'T HEARD IN MILLENNIA!" He chuckled a little.**

 **"Who are you!?" Morty asked, sitting up in his bed and closing his laptop. A golden triangle appeared on his wall, and out of it came a demon of the same shape and color. He wore a top hat and bow tie, holding a cane in his left hand. One large eye rested in the center of his triangular frame. The room around them went monochrome.**

 **"I'M AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE OF YOUR GRANDFATHER'S! NAME'S BILL! BILL CIPHER!" He tipped his hat. "AND YOU'RE MORTY!"**

 **"How do you know that?" Morty asked. He scratched his head. "Did Rick tell you or something?"**

 **"DON'T WORRY SO MUCH KID! I KNOW LOTS OF THINGS!" Bill's eye opened wider. "NOT TO MENTION THAT I'VE HAD MY EYE ON YOU BOTH FOR A WHILE NOW!" His eye started flashing with miscellaneous images, several of which were from the boy's frequent adventures with his grandfather, Rick. The images were of places like the Citadel of Ricks, the Cronenberged world, and the house in which they currently resided. Bill also showed him places he had never seen, like a parking lot outside of a mall called 'Twin Pines', a pineapple that had sunken into the sea, and a statue of a figure holding four blocks outside of a large white mansion. But, most predominantly featured was a small rickety town called 'Gravity Falls', according to the sign at its border.**

 **"So, then, what are you?" Morty asked, raising an eyebrow.**

 **"HAHA!" Bill laughed aloud. "YOUR OLD GRAMPS SPENDS ALL OF HIS TIME TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A GOD HE IS! AM I WRONG?"**

 **"N-Not really, I guess? I-I-I mean, he's my grandpa. I don't like talking about him behind his back. It's hard enough to even try. He is _my_ grandpa."**

 **"BUT HE HAS NO ISSUES INSULTING YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK!" Bill shouted. "HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE IF IT _IS_ BEHIND YOUR BACK! HECK! I'D SAY HE _PREFERS_ TO DO IT TO YOUR FACE!"**

 **"So?" The boy said. "Get to the point."**

 **"THE POINT IS THAT WE BOTH KNOW YOUR GRANDPA ONLY WANTS YOU AROUND FOR HIS OWN GAIN! HE THINKS HE'S GOD WHEN ALL HE'LL EVER BE IS SOME OLD MAN WITH A LITTLE BIT MORE BRAINS THAN ANYBODY ELSE!"**

 **"No, you're wrong!" Morty stood up from his bed. "R-Rick wants me around!"  
**

 **"HASN'T ANYBODY EVER TAUGHT YOU THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WANT AND NEED?" Bill's eye again widened. "IF YOU NEED MORE PROOF THAT HE'S JUST DECEIVING YOU THEN LOOK NO FURTHER! HE TOLD YOU HIMSELF!"  
**

 **A video started playing on Cipher's eye. It showed Rick and Morty sitting in a diner.**

 **"You know Rick, when I first saw all those Ricks and Mortys, I thought, gee, that kinda devalues our bond." Morty said. "But then I realized that it just means that our relationship must be pretty special to span over all those different timelines!"**

 **"Yeah, it's gotta be that way." Rick responded, still fidgeting with a device. "You're a camouflage."**

 **"Camouflage?" Morty asked suspiciously. "W-W-What are you talking about Rick?"**

 **"Ricks have a very distinctive and traceable brain wave due to our genius." He said, "The best way to hide from an enemy's radar is to stand near someone with complementary brain waves that make ours invisible. See, w-w-when a Rick i-is with a Morty," He started to draw two wavy lines intersecting with one another. "The genius waves get canceled out by the, uh..." He cleared his throat. "...Morty waves."**

 **The video ended. Morty wiped a tear from his eye.**

 **"SEE?" Bill asked. "IT'S JUST LIKE I TOLD YOU. ALL YOU ARE IN HIS EYES IS AN ITEM THAT KEEPS HIS ENEMIES AWAY. YOU'RE A NEED! NOT A WANT!"**

 **"W-W-Why are you telling me all of this?"**

 **"LOOK KID. I JUST WANNA HELP YOU OUT! I CAN GET YOU AWAY FROM ALL THIS TROUBLE AND FOR JUST A TINY PRICE TO PAY!"**

 **"P-Price?" Morty asked.**

 **"JUST A TINY FEE! NOTHING OUT OF THE WAY! ALL YOU'VE GOTTA DO IS GET ME RICK'S PORTAL GUN! SEE? IT'S SIMPLE!"**

 **"Rick's portal gun...?" He could tell that was a bad idea.**

 **"YUP! THAT'S IT! IF YOU CAN DO THAT I CAN GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT! LIKE FREEDOM FROM RICK'S INSANE MISADVENTURES! OR A NEW AND IMPROVED FAMILY! HECK, I CAN MAKE YOU IMMORTAL! SO WHAT DO YOU SAY KID? DO WE HAVE A DEAL?" Bill held his hand out and it lit with a cobalt blue flame. "IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU STOPPED WORSHIPING FALSE GODS!"**

 **Morty fearfully debated on what to do. He knew the dangers of crossing Rick, but what was even worse was that he _didn't_ know the dangers of crossing Bill.**

 **"I-I-I-I-" Morty stuttered. He was cut off by a voice from the hallway.**

 **"Morty!" Rick called his name.**

 **"UGH. HIM. GOTTA GO! THINK ABOUT THAT DEAL!"**

 **"Morty! Get up!"**

 **Morty woke up in his room. Bill was gone, and Rick was standing next to him. The color had returned to the walls.**

 **"W-What were you dreaming about Morty?" He asked in a panic.**

 **"T-T-T-This guy named Bill Cipher, I think? He was, like, a triangle?  
**

 **Rick gave him a blank stare. "This isn't good, Morty. We need to look around."**

 **"W-W-What?" Morty asked.**

 **"W-We need to look around Morty! We need to look around!"**

 **Morty stood up from his bed. "For what?" Rick threw Morty's pillows on the floor and started removing his bed sheets.**

 **Rick turned to Morty and grabbed his shoulders. "Pictures of him, Morty! Find pictures of Bill!"**

 **"Who is he!?" Morty asked.**

 **"*urp* I'll tell you after this!" Rick burped. "J-J-Just find the pictures of him Morty!" Rick started ripping the posters off of Morty's walls.**

 **"Rick!" He protested.**

 **As the last poster came off of the wall, underneath a picture of Bill was revealed to have been poorly doodled on the wall in marker. It was just as Rick had stated.** **"Sta-*urp-stay here, Morty!" Rick ran out of the room. A few minutes later he came back with a chainsaw. He revved it up.**

 **"Rick, no!" Morty yelled in confusion.**

 **He turned it on and started loudly cutting through the wall and around the Bill picture. They heard a high pitched scream from the living room.**

 **"It's ok Summer, grandpa's just saving the universe, probably because your dad's an overly trusting idiot!**

 **"What?" Summer called from the kitchen.**

 **"Dad, be nice to Jerry." Beth called from her bedroom.**

 **"Hey!" Jerry called from the living room.**

 **Ruck turned back on the chainsaw and continued cutting a whole into the wall. He grabbed the wood that had Bill on it and walked into the living room and Morty followed.**

 **"Hey overly trusting idiot," Rick said. "You want to explain this?"**

 **"I..." Jerry said, not making eye-contact. "I... No...?" He gave a weak smile.**

 **"Jerry," Rick started to question him. "what did you do, what did he offer you, how many more drawings are there, and where are they?"**

 **"Ok! Ok!" Jerry gave in. "When Beth and I went to couples counseling on Nuptia Four, I saw an image of Bill on a monitor. Then, those... creatures they made out of our negative interpretations of one another started to attack and destroy everything around us!"**

 **"What?" Morty asked.**

 **"Keep going..." Rick said.**

 **"I was being chased by one of Beth's slug interpretations of me, a-and suddenly, it was like time froze! Everything was grey, the universe was dark! Reality was just an illusion!"**

 **"Yeah yeah yeah, get to the point where he made you start talking like a fortune cookie already." Rick commented sarcastically.**

 **"I-I'm serious! Then Bill confronted me, and it was terrifying! He said that he could fix my marriage, and that all I had to do was draw pictures of him around the house!"**

 **"Oh my god, you ****ing idiot..." Rick put his face in his palm.**

 **"What!? He seemed trustworthy!" Jerry pathetically attempted to rebound.**

 **"Ugh! Why do you have to take your moronic tendencies out on me!?" Rick complained. He groaned. "Bill is a demon who manipulates people into doing his bidding. If they don't uphold their end of his deals, he punishes them in unimaginable ways. He gave Washington nightmares until he ground his teeth into dust while he slept, and only stopped when the president put him on the dollar bill."**

 **"...So, this is bad?" Jerry asked.**

 **Rick turned to Morty. "Oh my nonexistent god your father's an idiot!"**

 **"You have no idea." Morty said.**

 **"This is the only time I might agree with that statement." He turned back to Jerry.**

 **"Right." He said, frowning. "So, what does he want? Several portraits of himself?"**

 **"Dad, this is what I meant about times where you don't have an input!" Summer yelled from the kitchen.**

 **"I do too!"**

 **Beth sighed from the bedroom. "Shut up jerry."**

 **"Seriously? You too?"**

 **"Hah! Those're my girls!" Rick shouted.**

 **"Uh, guys, can we get back to the whole, 'demon,' thing?" Morty asked. "I-I-I'm a little worried about that."**

 **"Oh, Morty." Jerry crossed his arms. "You just want an excuse to belittle me."**

 **"We've got plenty of those, Jerry." Rick said. Summer walked into the room.**

 **"Seriously though, can we talk about this Bill guy?" Morty said.**

 **"Fine." Jerry rolled his eyes. "Rick, tell me what he wants."**

 **"He wants to create a portal to his world, because he wants to release a 'Weirdmageddon' onto our world."**

 **"Weirdmageddon?" Jerry asked. "What kind of a name is '** **Weirdmageddon?'"**

 **"Seriously? _T_ _his_ is the one thing we agree on?" Rick asked sarcastically.**

 **"Wait, what's going on?" Summer asked, putting away her phone.**

 **Rick ignored her. "Clearly Bill wants to get his hands on my *urp* portal gun and use it to let out his weirdness farts."**

 **"What do the drawings have to do with that?" Jerry asked.**

 **"I don't understand any of this!" Summer said.**

 **"Drawings of Bill indicate peep-holes from his dimension to ours. He can see everything we do in front of him. It's why I don't carry one dollar bills. They let him enter your dreams."**

 **"Sooo, all of this is my fault?" Jerry asked.**

 **"YES! ENTIRELY! THAT'S WHY WE'RE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION, YOU MORON!" Rick yelled.**

 **"Oh god Rick, w-what're we gonna do!? We can't just let him destroy the world!" Morty said.**

 **"What's going on?" Summer asked.**

 **"You're right, Morty. And that doesn't happen often." Rick responded. "Have your idiot father take you to the rest of the Bill drawings and cut them out." He tossed the chainsaw to Morty, who immediately dropped it.**

 **"You're seriously entrusting my son with a chainsaw!?" Jerry asked.**

 **"I mean, when the alternative is you, sure." Rick said.**

 **Jerry opened his mouth, and then shut it again. He lifted his hand like he was about to say something, but then put it down. He did these same things a few times, before giving up and leading Morty out.**

 **"What do I do, grandpa?" Summer asked.**

 **"Go into my garage and find my case of unicorn hair." Rick said.**

 **Summer paused. "Unicorn hair?"**

 **"J-J-Just shut up and listen to me!"**

 **"You have unicorn hair in the garage?"**

 **"Yes, Summer! If you really have to know, I fought a unicorn, and ripped out its hair! They're an insanely aggressive species, Summer! I-I-I took the hair because it has properties that deflect element 3.14!"**

 **"3.14? Pi?"**

 **"Y-Yes, the scientific name for the element is 3.14, but it's usually just called 'Weirdness.'"**

 **"Ohh. I see." Summer finally understood a little.**

 **"Good. Now would you shut the **** up and listen to me!?" Rick said.**

 **"Ok, ok! What do you want me to do!"**

 **"Take the unicorn hair and spread it in a circle around the perimeter of the house. I-I-I-It makes a *urp* weirdness barrier! Now go already!"**

 **"Ok, ok, I'm going!"**

 **Beth walked out of her and Jerry's room, covered in sawdust. "Dad, what's going on?"**

 **"Your moron husband tracked a demon into the house."**

 **"Ugh, again?"**

 **"Yup. After he and Morty finish cleaning up his mess, I'm gonna take Morty, and we're gonna go get Sixer."**

 **"Ford? Has Morty ever met him?" Beth asked.**

 **"Nope."**

 **"I think he should. Those two would get along well."**

 **"Guess we'll find out." Rick responded. "In the next chapter! Eyyyyyooooo! How 'bout that cliffhanger! See you next week, suckers!"**

 **Beth laughed. "Shut up, dad."**

* * *

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 ** _WKHB'OO EH KDSSB WR NQRZ,_**

 ** _WKDW DV BRX VDZ PH JR,_**

 ** _L ZDV VLQJLQJ WKLV VRQJ!_**

 ** _KDKDKDKD! ZRQ'W WKHB VLAHU?_**


	2. Day Dreams and Nightmares

**Dipper sat on his balcony, thinking about the summer he'd spent in Gravity Falls. The rickety Oregon town had begun to feel like home to him. He remembered all of the amazing people he'd met as he started into the night sky. Soos, Wendy, Gideon, Pacifica, everyone. We see characters being cut out of stories all the time, but we never really see the rest of their stories. Life went on in Gravity Falls, even without its pine trees and shooting stars.**

 **He thought about his Grunkle Stan and his Great Uncle Stanford. Ford had said that people like them were naturally attracted to Gravity Falls- that it had some 'Natural Law of Weirdness Magnetism.' Maybe he would be drawn back again by some magical force someday. Gravity Falls just didn't seem complete to him without its constellation-headed boys and six-fingered men.**

 **"Dipper!" He heard a long familiar voice shout his name. He turned to see his twin sister Mabel running towards him. She was wearing a sweater with a sunrise on it.**

 **"Hey!" He said. "What's up?"**

 **"I was wondering where you were!" She jokingly pushed her brother. "It's super late!"**

 **"I know, I know." He responded. "I just like the stars."**

 **Mabel looked up at the sky with him. She sighed. "Thinking about Gravity Falls?"**

 **"Yeah." He said. "It's been on my mind a lot recently."**

 **"Yeah, me too. I'm really gonna miss that place." Dipper looked at her. She seemed genuinely sad.**

 **"Maybe we'll go back some day." He said. "We could see Grunkle Stan, and Grunkle Ford again. And Soos, too!"**

 **"And Wendy?" She teased him about his crush.**

 **"Shut up." He said, smiling. They both laughed together. A comet shot down in the sky.**

 **"Make a wish." Said Mabel. They both wished for the same thing.**

 **Mabel smiled. Dipper did the same. "And hey," He said. "Even if we don't go back, we'll always have mementos."**

 **"Yeah." She pointed at his head. "Like your hat!"**

 **He pointed at her shirt. Tonight her sweater was the usual pink with the crest of a shooting star. "Or your billion sweaters!"**

 **She laughed. "Oh yeah!" Her pet pig walked up behind them. "And Waddles!"**

 **"And the journals!" Dipper said. They found them laying on the ground after Weirdmageddon unharmed, despite having seen them burned to a crisp. (They later learned that most other things Bill had destroyed were back to normal as well.) Dipper and Mabel had been allowed to keep Journals 1 and 2. They threw all three into the bottomless pit, but the first two of them were fired back out immediately every time they tried to rid themselves of the book's burden. After the thirtieth try, Ford decided it was fate and that it would be best if Dipper and Mabel took care of the first two journals.**

 **"And finally..." Mabel said. She ran off to their room to go get something, and moments later, a string fired through the hallway. Mabel flew through the hall and slammed into the wall on the other side. "GRAPPLING HOOK!" She shouted.**

 **"Shh! You're gonna wake up mom and dad!" He said.**

 **"Sorry!" She whispered.**

 **She walked up beside him. They continued to stare off of the balcony in silence. That was when something unusual happened. A small woodpecker flew up next to them both. It's eyes seemed to glow yellow, and there was a bottle hanging from its neck by a string. Dipper untied the string and took the bottle. He opened it to find a letter inside. On the outside of the paper was a small drawing of a key next to the word 'WEIRD.' Inside was a picture of their old foe, Bill, with a message written in code.**

 **"What's it say?" Mabel asked.**

 **"I don't know, I can't read the code." He said. "But, if it's anything related to Bill, nothing good can come out of it."**

 **"Right!" His sister agreed.**

 **Dipper started walking towards his and Mabel's room, and Mabel followed. He swung open the bedroom door and swiftly ran to pick up his journal. He had engraved of a pine tree onto its cover, with a large four sitting in its center. It was similar the first three, in documenting the strange, but since he'd left Gravity Falls, there hadn't been many strange occurrences. The pages were nearly all empty. The first page read:**

 ** _Hi! My name is Mason Pines, but I go by the nickname Dipper. My Great Uncle Ford wrote three journals documenting the unknown before now, and I decided I wanted to do the same! I recently came from Gravity Falls, Oregon, where I spent the summer vacation with my twin sister Mable! I found my Great Uncle's journal in the woods, and spent the summer learning about the weirdness it mentioned and updating it! So, here's what's happened so far..._**

 **The next 5 pages were titled 'GRUNKLE STAN AND FORD', 'BILL CIPHER', 'THE PORTAL', 'THE JOURNALS', and 'WEIRDMAGGEDON'. They explained what Dipper had seen and heard over the summer in Gravity Falls. He opened to page six and titled it 'BILL HAS RETURNED TO OUR WORLD!'**

 _ **BILL HAS RETURNED TO OUR WORLD!  
Nothing good can come from this! A woodpecker with Bill's eyes came to us and gave us this letter in a bottle! If only I could decode it...  
**_ **Dipper taped the letter into the book.  
 _I'll need to talk to Great Uncle Ford. He'll know what to do. For now, I'm going to sleep on this._  
**

 **"What do we do, Dipper?" Mabel asked.**

 **"We need to rest for now. We'll talk to mom and dad and see what we can do tomorrow."**

 **"Ok." She agreed. They both climbed into bed. "Night Dipper." She said to her brother.**

 **"Night Mabel." He responded.**

 _ **-Time Lapse-**_

 **He waited for thirty minutes, but didn't get any sleep yet. He tossed and turned, never getting Bill out of his head. Eventually, He passed out from exhaustion. He began dreaming.**

 **He woke up in a monochrome forest of pine trees, burning to the ground in a dark blue fire. A familiar laughter rang through the air.**

 **"HEHEHEHEH!" A chill ran down Dipper's spine. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"**

 **"Bill!" Dipper yelled. Three giant golden hands rose out of the ground, each with six fingers and a number of 1, 2, or 3 on the back of it. They started spinning around him.**

 **"HEY AGAIN PINE TREE!" Bill's voice rang throughout the woods. The first hand grabbed hist left arm while the second clutched his right. The third sat under his feet and lifted him off of the ground to lock eyes with Bill. "IT'S BEEN A WHILE!"**

 **"You!" He struggled to escape the hands grips as he questioned Bill. "How are you back?"**

 **"THAT'S FOR ME TO KNOW AND FOR YOU TO FIND OUT KID!" He cracked his knuckles, and the sound of gunfire rang trough the air. "IN THE MEAN TIME YOU SHOULD GO CHECK ON MABEL!" A shooting star replaced his pupil. "I WOULD HATE TO SEE SOMETHING _HAPPEN_ TO HER!"**

 **"What did you do!?" Bill ignored this and faded into the top of one of the trees. The three hands disappeared and dropped Dipper through the broken roof of the Mystery Shack. He landed in his and Mabel's old bedroom, and saw Mabel crying on her bed. He walked up to her slowly. "Mabel...?" Her crying sped up in pace, and quickly transformed into insane laughter. She spun around to face him, and showed that her eyes were golden. Her sweater changed from her regular pink shooting star into a gold one with the eye of providence on its center. "You're not her!" He yelled.**

 **She started laughing harder, until her voice had completely transformed into Bill's. "HEHEHEHEHEH!" The floor broke out from under them and they landed in the lobby of the shack. Mabel stood in a circle with Pacifica, Stanford, and Gideon on her right, along with Robbie, Fiddleford, Soos, Wendy, and Stanley on her left. There was a gap between Stanley and Gideon. Everyone wore an unnaturally wide grin, and had glowing yellow eyes. They all took the hands of one another, and all of their palms lit in cobalt blue fire. Bill glided down and offered his hand to Dipper.**

 **"No!" He said, his vision blurred. "I would never fall for a deal with you!"**

 **"NOT EVEN..." Bill's pupil turned into a pine tree. "IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!?"**

 **The three hands flew down and grabbed Dipper again. He began to suffocate in the grip of the three palms, the only sound he could hear being the laughter of Bill and all of his friends as the hands slowly cut off his air flow. Suddenly, he heard an unfamiliar voice.**

 **"The hell's going on you deformed nacho?" Asked someone with a gravelly voice.**

 **Bill sounded aghast. "YOU!"**

 **"R-Rick, maybe this isn't a good idea, I-I-I mean-" Started a young boy, before being cut off by the other voice.**

 **"Not now Morty!" Rick hushed him.**

 **"Bill!" Shouted the more well-known voice of his Great Uncle Ford. "So you really have returned..."**

 **"Great Uncle Ford..." Dipper gasped.**

 **"Dipper! I'm coming!" He yelled.**

 **"We'll hold -*urp*- off the freaks!" Burped Rick.**

 **"You're going down!" He heard the voice of Mabel, blasting out from nowhere as usual. "KITTEN FISTS!"**

 **He heard several successive popping and blasting noises, along with the screams of the nightmare versions of his friends. There were three large zaps, and with each of them a hand turned into ash. Dipper gasped for air as he fell to his knees. Ford reached down to hug him. "Dipper! I'm so glad you're alright!"**

 **"What's going on!? How is Bill back? Who are they?"**

 **"I'll explain all of that in a minute." He stood up and faced Bill, who was idling on a building and surveying the fight below him. "First, we need to get Bill out of your dreams."**

 **"OH? LITTLE OLD ME?" Bill asked. His voice deepened and he dashed towards them. "I'M FLATTERED!"**

 **"Bill, you main be dominant in the physical realm," Stanford asked, "But in the dreamscape, everyone stands as an equal! And our ratio of 'equals' is 5 to 1! What chance do you stand?"**

 **"HMMMMMMM..." Bill said. "FINE! I'LL LET YOU WIN THE BATTLE!" He snapped and every abnormality he had caused disappeared. "TIME TO GO START A WAR!" He popped out of existence.**

 **Dipper's eyes jerked open. At the foot of his bed were Stanford, Stanley, Mabel, and an old man and a boy he didn't recognize. He assumed they were Rick and Morty. Everyone was wearing a strange earpiece, including himself.**

 **"You guys!" He stood up and ran towards Mabel, Stan, and Ford. All four of them shared a group hug. "I missed you so much!"**

 **"We missed you too, kid." Stanley agreed.**

 **Rick and Morty awkwardly looked away from one another. "S-So, uh, nice weather in California, uh, right?" Morty chuckled.**

 **"Yup." Rick agreed. "It's, it's great."**

 **"What are these earpieces for?" Dipper pulled his out.**

 **"They let us enter your dreams." Rick said.**

 **"You made a machine that can let you enter peoples dreams!?" Dipper said, aghast.**

 **"Pssh, what is this, an anime?" Mabel joked.**

 **"Yeah, I invented a machine that lets you enter peoples dreams!" Rick started sarcastically. "I invented a helmet that gives dogs sentience! I invented a tape measure that lets people travel through time! I invented a gun that lets people travel between dimensions and timelines!"**

 **"Hold on!" Dipper grabbed the journal and started writing an entry about the earpiece.**

 **"Rick, you created the Time Tape?" Ford asked.**

 **"Yup." He took a drink from his flask. "Worst mistake of my life. Shelved the concept after being harassed by Time Baby."**

 **"What happened?" Dipper asked.**

 **"This entire intergalactic government thing of his started praising me." Her burped. "Think they got the hint when I killed this old man named Blendin Blandin." Dipper and Mabel shared a quick look of horror.**

 **Dipper ignored this. "Wait, who are you guys? Why are you here?"**

 **"I'm Morty." Said the young boy.**

 **"Name's Rick." He burped again. "Friend of Ford's."**

 **"Dipper, Rick is an old friend of mine from when I was lost beyond the portal." Stanford explained. "Morty is his grandson."**

 **"Great Uncle Ford! We think Bill is back! A woodpecker with Bill's eyes landed on our balcony and gave us this letter!"**

 **He flipped his journal to the page he'd written about Bill, with the letter in the center.**

 **"We know." Ford explained further. "That's why we're here."**

 **"Wait, you do? How?" Dipper asked.**

 **"Well..." Rick started.**

* * *

 **SITC, ZAPT, NHHP. QW LP MAE'W PLM GLJIA KZERA! YHU EORLJ OQUV! EX'A PRQV WCG LET SLHP, JRFG EVU UAELP WK GZLVD CWLU ZMUVQOMWE! QAZMI XJHMIHOXQDDPI BYH LSEVU KJ AGHHPA! YHNI'A NKWX Q YDRI BF VWC BF BKY JFWD, TTRLJ EVU VEQXCH: CIB IHWHG WRN E VVZ WTWTDHCXJH! WR MEWEVMCB JIE SUAIL FI YLIFV WRL UDNOVVVO XW SH NITVDOIL FQPS GFXN AWIOZ! LMYHD! IDVUUXPZQC CWL NJSE ZV W PQV, DJH EYHJ M'U URJI, VFW AZME WDEB MDCYM WDXVQTDPMWE ZEPT YDRI ALURMDVG! DIG GLJI BIHA, LWN ZKYTU BKY TZNA XW JHA CWLU OMAKHN XCIQAH QEWK E UVVO SN SRJI UVDH? EVU KKA ISRQX GFX OLWFWERO JWWV? URBXI Q TDJ TCCO PLZFXCL EZWD XPRW SEBVU PSEVU LPIE DBXMI DHP!**

 **GFXN STU PQWM,**

 **SLHP KZSDIZ!**


	3. A Study in Green

**Stanley and Stanford rested on a balcony in Hanston, Kansas. Stanley leaned on the edge of it, while Stanford continued fiddling with the inner mechanics of a machine at a nearby table.**

 **"Heh, this place brings back memories of home, eh bro?" Stan asked.**

 **"Yes. I noticed the reminiscence to Gravity Fall as well." Stanford said. "It's almost like the old town's shadow."**

 **"Speaking of Gravity Falls, any word on the anomaly we're supposed to be checking out?"**

 **Stanford looked down at his radar. It showed several red dots on a light blue background nearby. They seemed to be multiplying.**

 **"Yes. It appears something has shown up, and its numbers are quickly growing." He stood up quickly. "Ready to go?"**

 _ **-Time Lapse-**_

 **Stan and Ford rushed to the place where his radar was detecting the mass weirdness. When they reached the house, they heard loud noises, and a group of people shouting. A fire was burning, and smoke rose into the air.**

 **"What do you think it is...?" Stan asked.**

 **"I don't know. A battle of some kind?" Ford responded with similar confusion.**

 **"Wait..." Stan said. "That smell..."**

 **"Take this" Ford said, handing him a plasma gun.**

 **"I know what this is..."**

 **"You do?" Ford seemed confused.**

 **"I'm going in!" Stan started running towards the fence that led behind the house. He awkwardly started trying to pull himself over it.**

 **"Wait!" Yelled Ford, gesturing the gun towards him. "Take the gun!"**

 **"Don't need it!" Stan shouted! "I know what this is!"**

 **"What!?" Ford yelled in aggravation.**

 **"It's..." Stan fell off of the fence and ran around the house, grunting with every footstep. He reached the end and held his arms into the air. "A barbecu- WHAT IS THAT THING!?" He pointed and screamed.**

 **Ford leaped over the fence skillfully, landing on his feet. He rushed to his brother's side and pulled a gun. As it turned out, Stanley was right about one thing- they had arrived at a barbecue. But, not any normal one. There was a normal family, composed of a father, mother, sister, and two brothers, standing in the front of a large crowd of creatures.**

 **At the grill stood a Tyrannosaurus Rex. It held a spatula in its tiny arm that was roughly 10 feet long, and slowly struggled to flip patties. Two puppets with human hands played Frisbee off to the side. A green square with no definable features other than being a green square skipped stones in a lake off to the side. Several other creatures of similar calibers stood enjoying miscellaneous pastimes, such as a frog wearing a toga, a multi-headed bear, and a rat that was shaped like a large triangle.**

 **Everyone shot the two Stans a strange look. "Who're those weirdos?" A giant asparagus made of bubble-gum asked an unassembled snowman. The human father advanced towards the two strangers with a grin on his face.**

 **"I don't know," He happily shook Fords hand. "but they're welcome to join our family barbecue!"**

 **"Thank you. My name is Stanford, and this is my brother Stanley."**

 **"What nice names!" The mother replied. "Reminds me o' you three,** **Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Wolfeschlegelstainhausenbergerdorff, and Wolfeschlegelstoinhausenbergerdorff!" Three mirrors turned to face everyone else.**

 **"I'm Noah Thatcher! This here's my family! My beautiful wife Margret!" The mother blushed. "Our youngest son, Liam!"**

 **"Hey weird old dudes!" The young boy shouted.**

 **"Our daughter, May!" She waved. "And our eldest, Geoffrey!"**

 **"Yeah, whatever." He wore fingerless gloves and brushed his dark-black dyed hair out of his face. "Hate that name." He blew a gum bubble (The aspargus looked taken aback every time he did) and kept playing on his phone.**

 **"Alright, I think I know what's going on." Ford said calmly.**

 **"You do?" Stan asked.**

 **"Yes. These are parasites that put themselves into people's memories as a form a camouflage. They hide among their victims and rapidly multiply."**

 **"Alright." Stanley said. "Alright." His eyebrows furrowed. "Alright."**

 **"They make you think you know them when you really don't." Ford explained.**

 **"Ah, got it. So we shoot?"**

 **Ford lifted his gun and prepared to fire. He tossed a replica of it to his brother as it made a loud noise. "We shoot."**

 _ **-Time Lapse-**_

 **Stanford held Geoffrey to the ground and Stanley held a gun to his head. "P-P-Please!" He screamed in broken words. "I-I-I'm really not a p-parasite! Please don't shoot me, I don't know what's going on!"**

 **"Tell it to the judge!" Stanley fired his weapon and killed Geoffrey.**

 **"That should be all of them." Stanford said. He grinned and checked his radar, only for his expression to quickly sadden. "There's the same amount of dots as before..."**

 **Suddenly, a large and bright red circle appeared in the center of the screen. Next to Stan and Ford, a bright green light shone. A portal opened, and Ford raised an eyebrow at the voice of his old friend.**

 **Rick stepped through the newly opened portal, his hands over Morty's eyes.**

 **"W-W-We're going somewhere waaaaaaaay far away this time, Morty!"**

 **"A-A-Ah, geez, Rick!"**

 **"Yeeeeeah Morty! We're going somewhere dark, and dangerous, M-M-*urp*-Mooorty!"**

 **"Rick, where are we going, j-j-j-j-just tell me where we're going!"**

 **"Somewhere huuuuuuge, Morty! It's gonna be huuuuuuge, and dark, and it's gonna be f-f-freakin' horrifying Morty!"**

 **Morty tuned around angrily. "Just tell me where we're going already, Rick!"**

 **Rick raised his arms, and shouted, "We're in Kansas, Morty!"**

 **"I should've known."**

 **Rick approached Ford. "Ey, Sixer!"**

 **"Rick?" Ford raised an eyebrow. "What're you doing here?"**

 **"Who this ancient bag of bones?" Stan asked.**

 **"I could say the same to you, bud." Rick said.**

 **"Rick, this is my brother, Stanley." Ford explained.**

 **"Well, can you tell 'Stanley' that I don't look a day over sixty-three?"**

 **Ford turned to his twin. "Stan, this is my friend Rick."**

 **Ford continued on to introduce everyone else around the room to one another. When he finished talking, Rick pulled a portal gun out of his pocket.**

 **"What is that thing!?" Dipper shouted in surprise.**

 **"Just get in the wormhole kid."**

* * *

 **20-8-5 4-5-20-5-3-20-9-22-5 19-12-15-23-12-25 16-5-5-18-5-4 15-22-5-18 20-8-5 19-3-5-14-5 15-6 20-8-5 3-18-9-13-5, 8-9-19 1-19-19-9-19-20-1-14-20 1-20 8-9-19 19-9-4-5.**

 **"23-8-15 3-15-21-12-4'22-5 3-15-13-13-9-20-20-5-4 19-21-3-8 1 8-5-9-14-15-21-19 3-18-9-13-5, 19-9-18!?" 20-8-5 19-20-15-21-20 19-9-4-5-11-9-3-11 1-19-11-5-4. "1-14 5-14-20-9-18-5 6-1-13-9-12-25 15-6 6-15-21-18-8-21-14-4-18-5-4-1-14-4-20-23-5-14-20-25 23-5-18-5 11-9-12-12-5-4 8-5-18-5! 5-1-3-8 1-14-4 5-22-5-18-25 15-14-5 15-6 20-8-5-13!"**

 **"9 4-15-14'20 11-14-15-23." 20-8-5 1-19-20-15-21-14-4-5-4 4-5-20-5-3-20-9-22-5 1-4-13-9-20-20-5-4. "23-5 8-1-22-5 14-5-22-5-18 19-5-5-14 1-14 1-20-20-1-3-11 20-8-9-19 2-9-7 2-5-6-15-18-5 14-15-23. 20-8-5 12-1-18-7-5-19-20 23-5'22-5 5-22-5-18 6-1-3-5-19 23-1-19 19-9-24-20-25-14-9-14-5! 2-21-20, 20-8-9-19? 1-14-4 5-14-20-9-18-5 6-15-21-18-20-23-5-14-20-25!?"**

 **"23-8-5-18-5 19-8-15-21-12-4 23-5 2-5-7-9-14 15-21-18 9-14-22-5-19-20-9-7-1-20-9-15-14?"**

 **20-8-5 4-5-20-5-3-20-9-22-5 12-15-15-11-5-4 1-18-15-21-14-4. 8-5 23-1-19 19-9-12-5-14-20 6-15-18 1 12-15-14-7 23-8-9-12-5, 21-14-20-9-12 8-5 19-16-15-20-20-5-4 20-23-15 12-9-14-5-19 15-6 2-15-15-20-16-18-9-14-20-19 20-8-1-20 22-1-14-9-19-8-5-4 15-21-20 15-6 14-15-23-8-5-18-5. 8-5 12-15-15-11-5-4 3-15-14-6-21-19-5-4.**

 **"23-1-20-19-15-14, 7-15 8-15-13-5. 23-5'18-5 17-21-9-20-20-9-14-7."**


End file.
